Internal Family Systems
Hello, to all the amazing women who've mastered the art of balancing life's demands but still feel that whisper of wanting more. Let's talk IFS therapy.
In the beautifully orchestrated chaos of your everyday life, there might be moments when everything seems in place, yet a subtle question lingers: "Is there something more?" And it's more than momentary dissatisfaction; it's that craving for a deeper, more vibrant connection to and experience of an already great life. Cue: an IFS Counselor in St. Louis, MO. IFS therapy is a journey into the hidden corridors of your mind, offering a chance to unravel the layers of your inner world and a place where the pursuit of fulfillment and self-discovery goes way beyond the surface.
What Is The Internal Family System?
When discussing the internal family systems theory, it's like peeking behind the curtains of your mind's theater. Each thought, feeling, or belief represents a 'part' of your internal cast, playing its role on the stage of your life. At the helm stands the 'Self,' the wise director, capable of orchestrating it all. Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS) sees this psychological landscape as a community, where understanding these diverse 'parts' leads to deeper self-awareness and harmony within.
This approach dives into your mental makeup, identifying these 'parts' – each akin to a unique character in the story of your life. It's a bit like navigating through a bustling market, observing the varied personalities and voices, understanding how they interact, and aiming for a harmonious balance within this vibrant, internal community.
What are the 5 Ps of Internal Family Systems?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) operate on the premise of the 5 Ps - Playfulness, Patience, Presence, Perspective, and Persistence. Let's break down how internal family systems parts work.
Playfulness
You might think delving into your inner world is all serious business, but surprise! It's not always a solemn affair. When working with parts, a sense of playfulness often emerges in the presence of the Self. Why? Because parts feel safe enough to let their spontaneous side shine. At Good Woman Therapy, humor and even a touch of sarcasm find their place in sessions because hey, levity breathes life into our journey.
Patience
Wanna hear something annoying? Slow is fast. It's true though - when we're working with a part, it takes as long as it takes, and having true patience without an agenda is one of the most generous gifts we can give to a part. I'm never going to be frustrated with a client for not "being better by now", and I'm going to remind them how far they've come any time they get discouraged.
Presence
Sometimes, being in "part energy" triggers an urge to fix something that might not need fixing. Take grief, for instance; Grief is a part of the human experience that cannot be “fixed” - it just is. And what grieving people and grieving parts alike need is simple: being present with it. In sessions, I embrace this presence, comfortable with silence as you find your solutions, listen to your parts, and discover your insights.
Perspective
Here's the kicker - parts often have tunnel vision, focusing solely on problems and solutions in front of them. But when borrowing my system's self-energy, your perspective broadens. Suddenly, what felt daunting on your own becomes clearer. It's about widening that view, fostering compassion for your parts, and gently guiding their vision. But when you have access to your self-energy (or, in the beginning, when you borrow my system's self-energy), your perspective broadens. Suddenly, what felt daunting on your own becomes clearer. It's about widening that view, fostering compassion for your parts, and gently guiding their vision.
Persistence
Self, the beacon of confidence, remains the loyal hope merchant for your system, unwavering in its belief in healing and transformation. It never gives up, holding onto compassion and curiosity, ensuring you walk this path with trust and resilience. Similar to perspective and many of the qualities of self and self-energy, in the beginning, you might lean on and borrow mine while we make space for your own persistence.
Ever felt like you're slowly becoming someone you fear? The resentful wife, the irritable daughter-in-law, or the micromanaging boss? Rework your relationship within yourself and foster the ones around you. You’re one woman with many parts, all inherently good.
Is Internal Family Systems Legitimate?
After uncovering the 5 Ps of IFS, let's navigate through the Internal Systems Family criticism. After all, IFS may not be much like the traditional talk therapy you’ve tried before. Maybe you’re wondering, “Is IFS therapy legit?” And it’s ok if you are wondering that. It’s totally normal to question something new when you first hear about it!
Complexity Concerns:
Critics often raise questions about the intricacy of Internal Family Systems. After all, it can sound really complicated at first - but, that doesn’t mean it’s not helpful. As a therapist, I’ve seen it help more clients than I can count. I’ve seen it help:
the person who seems like they have it all but on the inside feels like they’re falling apart.
the person who feels like their old wounds are going to follow them around forever
the person who feels like they just can’t trust themselves
the one who feels like they’re questioning who they even are because they have everything they ever wanted yet still feel like shit
the person who feel hijacked by their emotions and responses - aware of how they are coming across, but seemingly unable to feel or react any differently
But even if one of those examples sounds exactly like you, you still might be intimidated by how complicated this whole “parts” thing sounds. Because honestly, the method's complexity can initially appear overwhelming. And - it’s totally doable, especially with a trained and experienced IFS therapist.
Self-Guided Therapy Dilemma
Some critiques revolve around the concept of self-guided IFS therapy. For women aiming to enhance their life experiences, the idea of delving into IFS without professional guidance raises valid concerns. Critics suggest that without the expertise of a trained therapist, the full potential and nuances of IFS might not be realized, potentially leading to incomplete healing or misinterpretations. Some people do hear about IFS and want to dive right into it to explore their parts on their own. They get excited and want to experience the healing IFS has to offer. And I get it. I see and appreciate this overachiever part of you. But the critics worry about what can happen when people jump in feet first without expert guidance. So, I highly recommend starting your IFS journey with someone who has completed, at a minimum, level 1 training through the IFS Institute.
The Answer: Working with a Trained IFS Therapist
It's essential to recognize that these criticisms stem from varied perspectives. For women in St. Louis, MO, seeking a more enriched life, acknowledging these concerns doesn't dismiss the potential benefits of IFS therapy.
My response to both of these really is pretty simple. Both of these criticisms are best answered by considering the value of starting your IFS journey by working directly with a skilled, trained IFS therapist. It’s not that you don’t already have the skills inside you to do this work. You absolutely do.
But here's the deal - diving into IFS with a trained therapist is like having a personal guide on a deep-sea exploration. It's about ensuring that you're not just skimming the surface, but truly understanding the depths of your inner world. Sure, the parts work can sound intricate, and the idea of self-guided therapy might be tempting, but it's the expertise and support of a therapist that brings clarity to the process. Working with someone who knows the ropes helps you unlock the full potential of IFS, making sure you're not just treading water, but swimming confidently towards healing and self-discovery. Working with an IFS-trained therapist is about journeying together toward a more authentic, integrated you.
What are the 6 steps of IFS?
In IFS therapy, exploring the different steps offers a roadmap to understanding internal family systems parts. For women striving for more in life, even amid fulfilled success, these steps serve as a guide within the realm of Internal Family Systems.
Find:
First up, 'Find' is all about awareness. It's not about judging or fixing stuff; it's simply about noticing. Think of it as recognizing the different voices or feelings you have without passing judgment.
Focus:
Then there's 'Focus.' Here, you zoom in on a specific part. Maybe it's the sad one or the one that’s been angry lately. It's about understanding the part better – what it wants and why it's hanging around.
Flesh Out:
Next comes 'Flesh Out'. This is where you’ll dig deeper than before! This phase is all about exploring memories and experiences tied to this part. It's like discovering a backstory and understanding why the part is playing it’s particular role in your life.
Feel Towards:
'Feel Towards' is where the magic happens. You shift from being mixed up with the part's emotions to a more separate but connected perspective. It's about seeing the part with curiosity and kindness, setting the stage for a more understanding relationship.
Befriend:
In 'Befriend,' it's about building a friendship with the part. This goes beyond just understanding it intellectually; it's feeling deep appreciation and respect for its role. This step builds trust, opening doors for healing.
Fears:
Lastly, 'Fears' tackles the worries your parts have about change. It's like having a heart-to-heart with those protective parts, easing their concerns to make room for transformation. It’s very common to encounter resistance within your system, particularly from protective parts.
For individuals navigating their paths, these steps within Internal Family Systems provide a structured approach to understanding and harmonizing the various aspects of their internal world.
What is Internal Family Systems?
The Internal Family Systems Model, often more comprehensive than assumed, offers a unique path toward reducing self-criticism and fostering self-compassion. This approach extends beyond conventional notions, making it an ideal fit for individuals seeking a shift from self-critique to self-empathy.
At its core, the Internal Family Systems Model perceives individuals as multi-faceted, harboring diverse parts within their psyche. These "parts" encompass emotions, beliefs, and experiences that influence behaviors and reactions. Contrary to conventional therapies, IFS acknowledges that these parts aren't singular identities but aspects of a whole.
The emphasis here is on recognizing these diverse parts without judgment or criticism. Instead, the Internal Family Systems Model encourages embracing these fragments with empathy and curiosity. By understanding and acknowledging these parts, individuals develop a healthier relationship with themselves, fostering self-compassion instead of harsh self-criticism.
For individuals desiring to navigate away from self-criticism, the Internal Family Systems Model offers a transformative journey, opening doors to self-acceptance and compassion.
What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy Used For?
Coming from an IFS Counselor in St. Louis, MO, Internal Family Systems Therapy isn’t solely about addressing specific issues; it's a journey to be wholly seen, deeply understood, and accepted. IFS therapy online extends beyond the conventional, offering individuals an opportunity for profound self-exploration and validation.
Internal Family Systems Therapy, facilitated by an Internal Family Systems therapist near you, serves as a compass guiding individuals toward self-discovery. It's not just about addressing concerns; it's a conduit for understanding and embracing the diverse aspects within oneself. Through this process, clients experience a validation of their thoughts, emotions, and experiences, fostering a profound sense of acceptance and validation.
One of the remarkable aspects of Internal Family Systems Therapy is its versatility. Whether it's navigating through challenging emotions, addressing past trauma, or seeking validation for one's experiences, an Internal Family Systems therapist near you can facilitate this journey toward self-discovery and acceptance.
IFS therapy invites individuals to explore the complexity of their inner world in a safe and validating environment, providing insights and tools that lead to a more profound sense of self-understanding and acceptance.
Is Internal Family Systems Therapy Legit?
Let's talk about how IFS is legit. As an IFS Counselor in St. Louis, MO, I can assure you, that Internal Family Systems Therapy is a well-established, evidence-based approach that validates and respects the depth and complexity of your inner world.
This therapeutic model isn't a passing trend; it's a recognized and respected approach within the mental health field. Developed by Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy has gained acknowledgment for its effectiveness in helping individuals find validation, understanding, and acceptance within themselves.
While seeking insight and validation, it's natural to question the legitimacy of therapeutic approaches. Rest assured, Internal Family Systems Therapy isn't just a fad. It's backed by research and clinical evidence, demonstrating its efficacy in addressing a wide array of mental health concerns, including trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship issues.
Internal Family Systems Therapy isn't about quick fixes; it's a process that allows individuals to explore their inner world at their own pace, validating their experiences, fostering self-understanding, and promoting a deeper sense of acceptance.
What is Internal Family Systems Therapy in a Nutshell?
Think of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy like getting an all-access pass to the concert that is you. It’s not your typical, sit-back-and-chat-about-your-childhood kind of deal. In IFS, we explore the different 'parts' of you - those unique inner personalities that sometimes clash like a dysfunctional band. It's about understanding these parts, tuning into their music, and getting them to jam together harmoniously. So, if you're up for a deep dive into the soulful melody of your psyche, IFS is your backstage pass to self-discovery.
Dive Deeper with These IFS Therapy Books for Clients
So I recognize that my “in a nutshell” explanation was actually VERY brief and that even if you read through every single blog post I’ve written about IFS therapy (and that would take you a long while, trust me) you’re still going to feel like you’re getting a bit of an introduction. The good news is that I know some great IFS therapy books for clients that I like to recommend people read when they’re looking to dive deeper into the topic, really learn what IFS is all about, and want to do so in a way that’s presented logically, organized and by a reputable source.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to read information about IFS presented not only by your individual IFS therapist (me!) but also by other well-known names in the field. Please know that this is not an exhaustive list, but it’s a list of books I’ve personally read and would recommend. There may be other great IFS therapy books out there, but I’m careful to only recommend IFS therapy books that I have enough information about to really trust the content, because I don’t want you to read something, come back, and reference it to me and I be like, “Shit I totally disagree with that,” so I try to be selective in what I recommend from the outset.
Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life by Tom Holmes
This gem, "Parts Work," is like a visual tour through your inner world. The illustrations? Stunning and super helpful. Tom Holmes breaks down the IFS basics in a way that's easy for everyone to get – therapists and non-therapists (yeah, I'm talking to you, my dear clients). It’s a friendly and artistic guide to understanding your inner parts, making the complex world of IFS approachable and, dare I say, fun to explore.
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy
Not strictly an IFS book, but "Good Inside" is like a cousin to IFS. Dr. Becky Kennedy’s insights on parenting are heavily drenched in IFS goodness. I'm about to blast an email to all my clients saying, "Read this book!" Seriously, whether you've got kids or not, this book is a treasure. It shines a light on how our childhood shapes us and how understanding ourselves better can transform our relationships - with others and, importantly, with ourselves.
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz
Want the inside scoop on IFS straight from the horse’s mouth? "No Bad Parts," penned by IFS creator Richard Schwartz, is your go-to. This isn’t some dry, academic text; it’s a pretty accessible read for therapists and clients alike. Think of it as a deeper dive than "Parts Work," offering practical applications of IFS principles in everyday life. It’s the kind of book that lays it all out there, making IFS principles relatable and applicable to your daily journey.
You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
This one’s all about love and relationships, but not just the romantic kind. It takes the principles of IFS and applies them to how we connect with others, especially in our romantic relationships. If you’re looking to bring some IFS magic into your love life or just understand relationships through an IFS lens, this book is a heart-opener. It’s like having a love guru and an IFS expert rolled into one.
These books aren't just informative; they are companions on your journey to self-understanding. They explain the core principles of IFS Therapy and offer practical tools that can empower women seeking a deeper connection with themselves.
Say goodbye to taking things personally. Uncover the power of IFS therapy by discovering your internal family parts.
Finding Your Path to Self-Discovery with IFS Therapy
So, there you have it - Internal Family Systems Therapy might sound complex, but at its core, it's about understanding the different parts of yourself. It's like having a conversation with all the voices inside your head, but in a way that makes sense and brings a lot of clarity.
For women out there who are curious about their inner workings or seeking a deeper understanding of themselves, IFS Therapy offers a path to explore and heal. Through this journey, you get to know your different parts - the scared one, the brave one, the joyful one - and learn to harmonize them to lead a more balanced and fulfilled life.
