UNFILTERED:
Making the Invisible, Visible
If therapy and Fight Club have a common thread, it's their first rule: don't talk about it. This code works wonders if you're in the loop, but it's less helpful when you're on the sidelines, contemplating whether or not to step into the ring.
Think of these articles as your insider's guide to therapy.
I'll offer you a candid view of my work as a therapist, without sacrificing the sacredness of my client's confidentiality. Like your favorite reality TV show, we'll delve into the highs, lows, and 'pour-the-red-wine' moments of life for women in their 30s and 40s.
I'm pulling back the curtain on the invisible world of therapy for women who think their struggles aren't "significant enough", one blog post at a time.
The Basement Children
Today, in the fourth and final segment of the IFS Parts series, we descend into the hidden depths – the realm of the Exiles. Imagine a forgotten chamber within your inner landscape, shrouded in shadows. This chamber holds not dusty relics, but something far more precious: the House Elves of your internal world – otherwise known as Exile parts in IFS. These vulnerable parts carry the scars of past wounds and hold onto unprocessed emotions. Tucked away in the recesses of your psyche by protector parts, they often operate unconsciously, whispering anxieties and influencing your present struggles.
The Emotional Genie
Today, we'll delve deeper into another type of protector part – Firefighters. These parts function as the alarm systems of our inner world, reacting swiftly (and sometimes impulsively) to extinguish emotional fires. Unlike Managers who focus on preventing danger, Firefighters spring into action after we're already feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions - often without much consideration for their impact on others, or on the long-term.
The Good Woman's Guide To Not Taking Things Personally
IFS therapy is like sitting down with your inner drama queen and gently asking "What's happening that you are making such a fuss?" You're not shutting her up; you're giving her a microphone. And guess what? When you let her speak - when you help her feel heard - she won’t need to wield a megaphone anymore.
Dealing with Difficult Feelings
Sometimes, my job as a therapist is to share a hard truth with clients. Today, I’ll cut right to it: dealing with difficult feelings starts by learning that your feelings are real – and – they may not be reflective of reality. it's okay to feel a certain way, even if it doesn't fully align with the reality of the situation, and it's important not to invalidate your emotions because they're a part of you. This introspective process can be empowering, liberating, and ultimately, healing.
Having Feelings About Your Feelings
"Both can be true" - this is a little nugget I offer to clients when they are torn between their feelings and their feelings about their feelings (humans are unique in that way). When we dig into those struggles, most clients describe experiencing a tug-of-war going on inside of them.
Dealing with Feelings – the Logical Way
You can’t let go of something you don’t own. This is quickly becoming my new mantra in regard to dealing with difficult emotions. We think we don't know what to do with difficult emotions, but in my personal and professional life, I’ve found that the best approach to dealing with difficult emotions is actually fairly logical.
3 Things to do When Your Emotions Hijack You
Finding relief when you’ve been hijacked by your emotions is all about nurturing a healthier relationship with your thoughts and feelings.
