The Good Woman's Guide To Not Taking Things Personally

Dear “Drama Queen”,

I get it. There's something about the way a random comment can hit you right in the feels.

It goes like this: you're sitting at your desk, pouring your soul into a project, and boom – here comes Donna from legal with a few pieces of "feedback". Thus begins your spiral into the Pit of Taking Things Personally.

As you descend, you lose all sense of objectivity.

Donna's comments aren't just innocuous "feedback", or even criticism; they are a full-fledged attack on your identity. Or so your feelings would have you believe. Suddenly, you're not just defending your work. Now you're defending yourself as a friend, a mother, and a wife. By the time you get home, you are primed to rain down fire on anyone who so much as breathes in your general direction, much less asks what's for dinner.

You secretly suspect you might be crazy.

The Problem

The mainstream advice? "Toughen up," they say. "If you grow a thicker skin, you'll be fine," they promise. Or my personal favorite, "Just don't let it get to you." Well, isn't that a novel idea? *eyeroll* And - 3 cheers for #teamtoxicpositivity!!!! (exclamation points mandatory) "Just think positive and do daily affirmations everyday, daily!!!!!"

Sure, because thoughts are like magic spells that erase feelings, right? WRONG.

Here's the actual solution – parts work via Internal Family Systems therapy. IFS is like a therapy party for your soul; all your inner family members are invited - including the one who is easily offended.

The "Magic" of IFS Therapy

Instead of pretending that criticism doesn't sting, IFS therapy says, "WOAH. Uhm. That really hurt a part of me. Let's be friends with that part." It's like sitting down with your inner drama queen and gently asking "What's happening that you are making such a fuss?" You're not shutting her up; you're giving her a microphone. And guess what? When you let her speak - when you help her feel heard - she won’t need to wield a megaphone anymore.

And the long-term effect of parts work? Just a life where comments are just comments, not time-release capsules embedded in your brain, slowly destroying your self-worth. NBD.

IFS therapy isn't an overnight transformation though. It's a process, and it can be difficult at times. But it's a journey where you're in the driver's seat, taking your "drama queen" for a ride, instead of feeling hijacked by her.

Where to Start

You are on the brink of something extraordinary, and if you’re wondering “How do I start?” - I have good news. You already have: you've noticed the part of you that takes things personally. All that's left is to work on the relationship you have with her. Because that - friend, is the key to not taking things personally.

IFS therapy can be the guide for nurturing a relationship with your inner "drama queen" - who *spoiler alert* probably isn't really a drama queen.

If you're ready to start, schedule a consultation here and let me know.

-Karissa