Parenting with IFS: Resources for Creativity and Play for St. Louis Transplants
Listen, St. Louis Natives - I think I speak for all transplants when I say that we, respectfully, don’t want to know where you went to high school. As 30 and 40-year-old women with busy lives, we’d much rather hear about where you spend your time now. In fact - those of us with kids NEED to hear about where you spend your time now. Let me explain.
Finding Our Footing in St. Louis, MO
I moved to the St. Louis area (specifically, West County. Specifically, Ellisville - though I won’t get more specific than that because this is the internet, people) with my STL-native husband in 2016 shortly after getting married in 2015.
We spent our first few years as DINKs (Dual Income With No Kids) working our respective jobs and finding fun things to do on the weekend.
Naturally, my husband introduced me to The Muny, which I loved. Although, we went for my birthday which is in August and the humid heat almost killed it for me. The giant fans just weren’t enough for me, and after that first experience, I vowed to only go early in the season from then on.
Having grown up in Idaho where there are zero - I repeat ZERO professional sports teams, I adopted my grandfather’s favorite MLB team as my own - which just so happened to be the St. Louis Cardinals. Unsurprisingly, I quickly fell in love with Yadi (naturally) and we would take my parents to home games at Busch Stadium whenever they came to visit.
Embracing the Change
Now, fast forward to August of 2019 when we had our first child - suddenly, we were Temporarily Single Income With A Newborn and as such, exploring WAY less. The road back to “normal” (read: new normal) is different for everyone post-partum and for me, I didn’t feel human again until around February 2020.
I specifically remember thinking around the end of February/beginning of March that I had a handle on being back at work and finally felt ready for the THREE of us to start getting out and about.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA joke was on me - and for two reasons.
First Reason: I had envisioned venturing out on our first outing with a perfectly curated diaper bag + stroller that would wheel around a curiously wide-eyed or calmly napping baby while we took in the experience and created picture-perfect memories.
In reality - we packed half the nursery into not one but TWO jam-packed diaper bags (his and hers - duh) and both the stroller and I were covered in various bodily fluids within no less than 23 minutes. And as for pictures? I quickly learned that outings with kids tend to not be serene, Instagram-able moments. (Correction: there is usually ONE serene moment, at which point you MUST snap a picture so you can post it and hide the reality that the rest of the time was spent trying to figure out why your baby is crying (Wet? Hungry? Dirty? Tired? Too Hot? Too Cold?) and managing a relentless internal clock about feeding times, wake windows, sleepy cues…on and on it goes.
Second Reason: uhm hi, it was February of 2020. Just as I was ready to get OUT into the world, the world was about to betray me via locking me down. And yes, I mean betrayed - but that’s a blog for another day. Suffice it to say, we missed out on a lot of traditional “first outings” until our kids were older.
Discover the #1 way you’re gaslighting yourself without even realizing it!
Parenting in the Age of Dr. Becky: Balancing Parenthood and Self-Care
You know what else happened in 2020? Dr. Becky Kennedy came on the scene. She gave us all the help we desperately needed how to talk about what was happening to the kids in our lives. She talked parents through how to parent when NOTHING was normal and everyone was under-resourced and overstimulated.
Then in 2022 she came out with her book, Good Inside, followed shortly after by her membership platform that included community and courses for parents, also called Good Inside.
If you haven’t already guessed it, I am a HUGE fan of Dr. Becky’s work. It is SO compatible with Internal Family Systems therapy. In fact - she’s very upfront that a lot of her work is heavily influenced by IFS.
Being an IFS Counselor- I, of course, try to figure out how to incorporate what I know about relationships - both internal and external, into parenting.
One of the things Dr. Becky talks about…
Central to Dr. Becky’s work is the idea that parenting is relational. She talks a lot about how to handle stressful moments from a relational framework - which I love, but she also talks about proactive ways to create connections with kids and build up relational currency.
And how do you build a connection with kids? Answer: playfulness & creativity. These are the currency that children deal in and understand. And, while there are plenty of opportunities for play and creativity at home, I’m learning that these outings are good for ME too.
Kid-Friendly Places for Exploration in St. Louis, MO
If you haven’t had kids yet or you’ve still got baby-babies I’m gonna let you in on a secret: getting them out of the house makes the day easier. It really, really does. The novelty of being somewhere new tends to just…lighten things. At least for us. Most of the time.
However, not being from here, once we could go out post-COVID and post-Zombie-Newborn-Land, I struggled to know WHERE to even go with my kids. Now if you are from STL, this might be obvious to you. But, as a transplant myself, it took me years to discover kid-friendly, never mind kid-centric places.
So - for all the mamas who transplanted to St Louis, especially during the COVID Years, here’s my list of favorite places to take my kids (and a few that we’ve yet to visit but are on my short list):
Myseum: Myseum is a vibrant interactive children's museum in Chesterfield offering hands-on exhibits and activities designed to spark curiosity and creativity in young minds. From exploring science and technology to unleashing their imaginations in imaginative play areas, kids of all ages can enjoy a fun-filled day of learning and discovery at Myseum.
Bonus: they have a cafeteria-like seating area and you can bring in your own food and drinks. There are cameras throughout the different play areas, and monitors in the seating area, so - depending on your kid's age (and your own comfort level), you can sip your coffee (maybe even with a friend!) and keep an eye on the kiddos at the same time.
The Butterfly House: Step into a magical world of fluttering wings and vibrant colors at the Butterfly House in Chesterfield. This enchanting attraction is home to thousands of tropical butterflies, as well as stunning gardens and exhibits that showcase the beauty and importance of these delicate creatures. Your children can stroll through lush habitats, witness butterfly releases, and even interact with live insects up close.
Note: they have some restrictions on the size and types of strollers that can be allowed in. Do research ahead of time and opt for a sling or carrier if you can. They also offer discounted pricing for residents.
The Magic House: The Magic House is a beloved destination for families in Kirkwood, offering an array of interactive exhibits and activities that entertain and educate children of all ages. From hands-on science experiments to imaginative play areas, there's something for every child to enjoy at this enchanting museum.
Pro Tip: Saturdays are PACKED. I recommend going after 3 pm on weekdays: you get in for $3 (w/proof of residency), it’s less busy, and they’re only open until 5 which is about the right amount of time. It is a HUGE place so whenever you choose to go, don’t expect to get through the entire thing in one visit.
The Magic House MADE for Kids: Magic House MADE for Kids is designed for kids ages 4-14 and their families. You can explore screen printing, Laser Cutting, Stop Motion Animation, 3D Printing, Pottery, and more! With age-appropriate exhibits and activities, this kid-friendly attraction provides a safe and stimulating environment for kids of all ages to explore, play, and learn.
Missouri Botanical Gardens Doris I. Schnuck Children's Garden: Nestled within the Missouri Botanical Garden, the Doris I. Schnuck Children's Garden is a whimsical outdoor oasis where kids can connect with nature and engage in hands-on exploration. From splashing in water features to discovering hidden pathways, this interactive garden offers endless opportunities for outdoor fun and discovery.
Tip: There’s also only one way in/out so it’s possible to let your kid have a little freedom to roam and know they’ll be in a contained space within the larger garden grounds. At the same time, there is a small water feature area - sort of a lazy river for toy boats to float down, so be mindful of that for little-littles.
The National Museum of Transportation: Take a journey through time at the Museum of Transportation in St. Louis, home to a fascinating collection of historic vehicles and artifacts. Kids can climb aboard vintage trains, explore antique cars, and learn about the evolution of transportation through engaging exhibits and interactive displays.
Saint Louis Science Center: The Science Center is a hub of scientific discovery and exploration in St. Louis, offering a wide range of interactive exhibits and educational programs for children and families. From exploring the wonders of outer space to conducting hands-on experiments in the lab, there's no shortage of fun and learning to be had at this dynamic science museum.
The Minifig Shop: Lego enthusiasts of all ages will delight in the Minifig Shop, a charming boutique in Kirkwood, MO dedicated to all things Lego (and - it’s only a few blocks from the Magic House). From rare minifigures to custom building kits, this shop offers a treasure trove of Lego-themed goodies sure to inspire creativity and imagination in kids! In addition to new Lego sets, they also buy and resale completed sets and loose bricks, minifigs, and accessories - you can even buy bricks by the pound! They’ve got a good selection of Duplos for younger kids, too.
Curious to learn how to not take things so personally?
Final Thoughts from an IFS Therapist in St. Louis, MO
As a St. Louis transplant navigating the joys and challenges of parenting, I've discovered that creativity, playfulness, and connection are essential ingredients for building strong relationships with my kids. From exploring local St. Louis attractions to embracing Dr. Becky Kennedy's wisdom on relational parenting, I've learned that every moment spent engaging with my children is an opportunity to deepen our bond and create lasting memories.
Get Started with IFS Therapy Today!
If you’re ready to create long lasting memories with your child, learn more creativity resources in St. Louis, MO with the help of an IFS counselor.
