UNFILTERED:
Making the Invisible, Visible
If therapy and Fight Club have a common thread, it's their first rule: don't talk about it. This code works wonders if you're in the loop, but it's less helpful when you're on the sidelines, contemplating whether or not to step into the ring.
Think of these articles as your insider's guide to therapy.
I'll offer you a candid view of my work as a therapist, without sacrificing the sacredness of my client's confidentiality. Like your favorite reality TV show, we'll delve into the highs, lows, and 'pour-the-red-wine' moments of life for women in their 30s and 40s.
I'm pulling back the curtain on the invisible world of therapy for women who think their struggles aren't "significant enough", one blog post at a time.
What Is IFS Therapy?
Feeling caught between numbing out and lashing out? Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy goes beneath the surface of overwhelm and frustration to help you reclaim calm and control. Discover how IFS uncovers the layers of your inner world, empowering you to break free from burnout and find clarity without needing to “fix” yourself.
Beyond Trauma: How Therapy Helps Everyday Women with Everyday Problems
Thinking therapy is only for trauma? Think again. Therapy isn’t just for crises—it’s for everyday women dealing with everyday problems. Whether you’re overwhelmed by family demands, emotionally checked out at work, or just going through the motions, therapy is your space to breathe, reset, and stop pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. You deserve support long before the breaking point hits.
Why Your IFS Therapist Sounds Like Dr. Seuss: The 6 F’s, 8 C’s and 5 P’s of IFS Therapy
All those catchy phrases and memorable mantras—the 6 F’s, 8 C’s, and 5 P’s. You might think they were pulled straight from a whimsical children's book, but there’s a method to this madness. The alliteration isn't just for fun (though it certainly helps keep things lively). It’s a clever way to guide us through the complex terrain of our inner worlds.
The Basement Children
Today, in the fourth and final segment of the IFS Parts series, we descend into the hidden depths – the realm of the Exiles. Imagine a forgotten chamber within your inner landscape, shrouded in shadows. This chamber holds not dusty relics, but something far more precious: the House Elves of your internal world – otherwise known as Exile parts in IFS. These vulnerable parts carry the scars of past wounds and hold onto unprocessed emotions. Tucked away in the recesses of your psyche by protector parts, they often operate unconsciously, whispering anxieties and influencing your present struggles.
The Emotional Genie
Today, we'll delve deeper into another type of protector part – Firefighters. These parts function as the alarm systems of our inner world, reacting swiftly (and sometimes impulsively) to extinguish emotional fires. Unlike Managers who focus on preventing danger, Firefighters spring into action after we're already feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions - often without much consideration for their impact on others, or on the long-term.
Why You Keep Thinking About Divorce and How to Break the Cycle
You think about divorce a lot for someone who likes being married.
“I shouldn’t feel so unhappy and irritable all the time,” you tell yourself, “and I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about leaving so much - I love my family.”
You don’t know this yet - but the thought of packing your bags isn’t about wanting to leave him; it’s about escaping the accumulating pressure inside, the relentless cycle of the same unresolved arguments.
Civility, Connection, and Community are Dead: How Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy Can Help
Your fear of conflict and the avoidance strategy you’ve adopted in response is eroding the foundations of your relationships because you - the real you - she isn’t in those relationships anymore.
It’s not your fault - you were likely pre-dispositioned and then conditioned to be conflict-avoidant by nature. The fact that you live in 2024 just has you doubling down on it.
Here’s what to do about it.
The Bossy Yoda
Today, we'll delve deeper into a specific type of part: the Managers. These are the bossy Yodas (or Hermoine Grangers or Monica Gellers) of our internal system, diligently working to keep us safe and secure . And sometimes, their well-intentioned efforts can create unintended consequences.
What Are the Different Types of Parts in Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Over the next four blog posts, we'll be diving deep into the fascinating world of IFS parts. Today, in part one, we'll introduce you to the concept of parts and answer some key questions, like: What are parts? How many parts are there? How do I identify them? Do they have names? We'll also explore the idea of "polarized" parts, those internal battles that often leave us feeling stuck.
