Ever find yourself thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?” Of course you do. And don’t get me wrong - you’re quick to get off that thought train because who knows where it might lead. But damn if it doesn’t crop up every time you promise yourself you won’t open that bottle of wine tonight. You had a glass last night, after all, and you’re trying to cut back. But it’s been a day, and before you know it, you’re two and a half glasses deep into that bottle of Meiomi Pinot Noir, folding laundry when the guilt and doubt starts to creep in. “Why can’t I just keep this one promise to myself? Maybe I don’t have as much control as I thought.”

Hello to all my underpaid, overworked family project managers. Here’s what your internal debate about online vs. in-person therapy tells me: you’re flirting with the idea of finally prioritizing yourself. I mean, why else would you search for “in-person therapist near me” when you could have just as easily looked up “online therapist in Missouri,” right?

Feeling caught between numbing out and lashing out? Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy goes beneath the surface of overwhelm and frustration to help you reclaim calm and control. Discover how IFS uncovers the layers of your inner world, empowering you to break free from burnout and find clarity without needing to “fix” yourself.

Thinking therapy is only for trauma? Think again. Therapy isn’t just for crises—it’s for everyday women dealing with everyday problems. Whether you’re overwhelmed by family demands, emotionally checked out at work, or just going through the motions, therapy is your space to breathe, reset, and stop pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. You deserve support long before the breaking point hits.

All those catchy phrases and memorable mantras—the 6 F’s, 8 C’s, and 5 P’s. You might think they were pulled straight from a whimsical children's book, but there’s a method to this madness. The alliteration isn't just for fun (though it certainly helps keep things lively). It’s a clever way to guide us through the complex terrain of our inner worlds.

Today, in the fourth and final segment of the IFS Parts series, we descend into the hidden depths – the realm of the Exiles. Imagine a forgotten chamber within your inner landscape, shrouded in shadows. This chamber holds not dusty relics, but something far more precious: the House Elves of your internal world – otherwise known as Exile parts in IFS. These vulnerable parts carry the scars of past wounds and hold onto unprocessed emotions. Tucked away in the recesses of your psyche by protector parts, they often operate unconsciously, whispering anxieties and influencing your present struggles.

Today, we'll delve deeper into another type of protector part – Firefighters. These parts function as the alarm systems of our inner world, reacting swiftly (and sometimes impulsively) to extinguish emotional fires. Unlike Managers who focus on preventing danger, Firefighters spring into action after we're already feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions - often without much consideration for their impact on others, or on the long-term.

You think about divorce a lot for someone who likes being married.

“I shouldn’t feel so unhappy and irritable all the time,” you tell yourself, “and I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about leaving so much - I love my family.”

You don’t know this yet - but the thought of packing your bags isn’t about wanting to leave him; it’s about escaping the accumulating pressure inside, the relentless cycle of the same unresolved arguments.

Your fear of conflict and the avoidance strategy you’ve adopted in response is eroding the foundations of your relationships because you - the real you - she isn’t in those relationships anymore.

It’s not your fault - you were likely pre-dispositioned and then conditioned to be conflict-avoidant by nature. The fact that you live in 2024 just has you doubling down on it.

Here’s what to do about it.