Unraveling Trauma with Internal Family Systems Therapy: A Gentle Path to Healing
The self-help aisle at Barnes and Noble is your personal oasis - a land overflowing with promises of a "brand new you." You devour self-help books on the regular, religiously listen to podcasts, and bookmark countless articles, all yearning for that breakthrough moment.
Admittedly, your consumption of self-help literature is a bit selective - you skip over the trauma books and posts since they don’t apply to you. But despite being surrounded by maps to self-improvement, a nagging sense of frustration persists. You feel like you're running in place, the destination perpetually out of reach.
But what if the culprit behind your stalled progress lies in a misunderstanding of what trauma actually is…and has therefore led to you filtering out the very thing you need the most?
Expanding Your Understanding of Trauma
Car accidents. Home fires. Wars. Imprisonment. Armed robberies. Sexual violence. These are all things most people generally understand to be traumatic. However, traumas aren’t always single, tragic, or life-threatening events. Just as often, traumas can be a collection of smaller experiences that have accumulated over time. Moments of intense fear, helplessness, or humiliation can accumulate and leave a profound impact, shaping our internal landscape in ways we might not even recognize. These experiences can trigger the development of protective parts within us, parts that served a purpose in the past but now keep us stuck in repetitive patterns, hindering our growth.
A childhood filled with criticism might lead to a part that constantly doubts your abilities, sabotaging opportunities for success. An experience of betrayal could create a part that is hypervigilant about protecting yourself, preventing you from forming trusting relationships (and even driving people you love away for fear of experiencing another betrayal.) These parts, while once essential for your survival, can become roadblocks on your path to a fulfilling life - stuck between who you are and who you want to be.
What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies not in trendy visualization techniques or one-size-fits-all life hacks, but in exploring a hidden realm within, where traumas big and small can be healed, clearing the way forward into the life you desire?
Is IFS Therapy Good for Trauma?
Before we can explore if IFS therapy is good for trauma, we need to establish a basic understanding of what IFS therapy is.
Imagine your mind as a house with many rooms, each inhabited by different parts of yourself – some wounded, some protective, some out in front, and some hidden away in the shadows. IFS therapy invites us to explore these inner landscapes with curiosity and compassion, guided by the principles of Self-leadership and Self-energy. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which often focuses on analyzing and fixing problems, IFS creates space for each part to be seen, heard, and understood.
Through this process, trauma can be gently released, revealing the hidden gems of resilience and wisdom within. When addressing traumas, IFS is like a compassionate gardener, tending to a cluster of tangled roots with patience and tenderness.
The research on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and its effectiveness in treating trauma is growing, with promising results. While more extensive studies are ongoing, both current findings from research, as well as the experience of both therapists and clients of IFS therapy, suggest it is a valuable tool for healing from various traumatic experiences.
Is IFS a Type of EMDR?
While both Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are effective approaches for trauma treatment, they operate from different paradigms. EMDR is a structured, time-limited therapy that uses bilateral stimulation to process traumatic memories by desensitizing them to alleviate distress.
In contrast, IFS is a more flexible and holistic approach that views the psyche as a complex system of interconnected parts. Rather than focusing solely on desensitizing the memory of a trauma, IFS seeks to foster harmony and balance among all the parts related to the trauma, restoring the Self to its natural state of wholeness.
Is IFS or EMDR Better for Trauma?
The question of which therapy is better for trauma is not a matter of one-size-fits-all. Both IFS and EMDR have their strengths and limitations, and the choice between them depends on the individual needs and preferences of the client. While EMDR may offer rapid symptom relief from specific or recent single-event traumatic memories, IFS provides a deeper exploration of the underlying dynamics and patterns in things like attachment trauma, relationship trauma, and what therapists call “little t traumas”.
What truly sets IFS apart is its ability to address the underlying emotional landscape of trauma. It's not just about desensitizing the memory; it's about transforming your relationship with your inner world.
Ultimately, the effectiveness of each approach depends on the therapeutic relationship, the skill of the therapist, and the readiness of the client to engage in the healing process.
Why is Trauma Therapy So Hard?
But why is healing trauma so challenging in the first place? One of the reasons lies in the nature of trauma itself – trauma creates an internal maze of the wounds inflicted and the defenses erected in response, often complicated by tangled webs of emotions the whole circuit evokes.
Many traditional therapy models push clients to confront painful memories directly. This can be overwhelming and even re-traumatizing. IFS takes a gentler approach. We understand that parts of you were developed to protect you from overwhelming emotions when a trauma occurred. These protective parts, while causing difficulties in the present, were once essential for your survival. IFS honors this reality. Instead of dismissing, vilifying, or bypassing these parts, we build trust with them. We create a safe space for them to release their burdens and ultimately, transform their role within your internal system.
Here's a glimpse into what IFS therapy for a childhood trauma might look like:
Identifying the parts: You might discover a part that holds onto feelings of isolation and learn it is connected to a childhood experience.
Understanding the part: Through gentle exploration, you learn that this part, despite causing loneliness now, was developed to protect you from the pain of emotional neglect during your childhood.
Compassion and healing: With newfound understanding, you can offer compassion to these parts. You might develop a "Self-Energy" connection – a feeling of calm, leadership, and care – to soothe their anxieties and hurts. This can lead to the parts releasing their burdens and forms of protection (feelings of hurt and impulses towards isolation) and integrating with your healthy Self.
Final Thoughts from an IFS Therapist
To me, the beauty of IFS is its adaptability. It can address a wide range of experiences, from significant life events to seemingly insignificant-on-the-surface "little t" traumas. By honoring the complexity of the human psyche and fostering compassion for all parts of ourselves, IFS provides a gentle path toward wholeness and integration. Whether you’re grappling with childhood trauma, attachment wounds, or the myriad of “little t” traumas that life throws our way, IFS invites you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.
