UNFILTERED:
Making the Invisible, Visible
If therapy and Fight Club have a common thread, it's their first rule: don't talk about it. This code works wonders if you're in the loop, but it's less helpful when you're on the sidelines, contemplating whether or not to step into the ring.
Think of these articles as your insider's guide to therapy.
I'll offer you a candid view of my work as a therapist, without sacrificing the sacredness of my client's confidentiality. Like your favorite reality TV show, we'll delve into the highs, lows, and 'pour-the-red-wine' moments of life for women in their 30s and 40s.
I'm pulling back the curtain on the invisible world of therapy for women who think their struggles aren't "significant enough", one blog post at a time.
Civility, Connection, and Community are Dead: How Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy Can Help
Your fear of conflict and the avoidance strategy you’ve adopted in response is eroding the foundations of your relationships because you - the real you - she isn’t in those relationships anymore.
It’s not your fault - you were likely pre-dispositioned and then conditioned to be conflict-avoidant by nature. The fact that you live in 2024 just has you doubling down on it.
Here’s what to do about it.
What is IFS Therapy Used For?
IFS therapy offers a revolutionary approach to healing and self-discovery because, unlike traditional therapy, IFS doesn't focus on fixing you. Instead, it guides you towards understanding and befriending various parts of yourself. That's the power of IFS - reworking the relationship you have with yourself, and by extension, others.
The Gift of Curiosity in Conflict
Curiosity works because when it's genuine, it's truly agenda-free. Ever notice how when you're frustrated with yourself about why you do XYZ thing in conflict, you get 0% closer to figuring out why you do that thing? Or to...not doing it anymore?
That's because the part of you doing the thing you hate feels defensive; you're trying to change it before truly understanding it.
