Listen, St. Louis Natives - I think I speak for all transplants when I say that we, respectfully, don’t want to know where you went to high school. As 30 and 40-year-old women with busy lives, we’d much rather hear about where you spend your time now. In fact - those of us with kids NEED to hear about where you spend your time now. Let me explain. 

IFS therapy is like sitting down with your inner drama queen and gently asking "What's happening that you are making such a fuss?" You're not shutting her up; you're giving her a microphone. And guess what? When you let her speak - when you help her feel heard - she won’t need to wield a megaphone anymore.

I created Good Woman Therapy to introduce women like you to the idea that we are good inside because it can relieve our most common struggles by freeing us from believing that those struggles have turned us into one of the “bad ones”.

Because that, my friend, is how you are gaslighting yourself. Here’s how to stop: consider the idea that you are one woman, with many parts, all of whom are inherently good - and that changes everything.

Curiosity works because when it's genuine, it's truly agenda-free. Ever notice how when you're frustrated with yourself about why you do XYZ thing in conflict, you get 0% closer to figuring out why you do that thing? Or to...not doing it anymore?

That's because the part of you doing the thing you hate feels defensive; you're trying to change it before truly understanding it.

Sometimes, my job as a therapist is to share a hard truth with clients. Today, I’ll cut right to it: dealing with difficult feelings starts by learning that your feelings are real – and – they may not be reflective of reality. it's okay to feel a certain way, even if it doesn't fully align with the reality of the situation, and it's important not to invalidate your emotions because they're a part of you. This introspective process can be empowering, liberating, and ultimately, healing.

It’s a darkly ironic circular problem – you’re too exhausted to give any space or energy to addressing your exhaustion. So, let me help by telling you in plain English –  you need to ask for help.

"Both can be true" - this is a little nugget I offer to clients when they are torn between their feelings and their feelings about their feelings (humans are unique in that way). When we dig into those struggles, most clients describe experiencing a tug-of-war going on inside of them.

You can’t let go of something you don’t own. This is quickly becoming my new mantra in regard to dealing with difficult emotions. We think we don't know what to do with difficult emotions, but in my personal and professional life, I’ve found that the best approach to dealing with difficult emotions is actually fairly logical.

I really love that I cuss. Like, it might be in my top-ten-favorite-things-about-myself list. It is not, however, on my husband’s top-ten-things-I-love-about-my-wife list and realizing this caused me to get curious about why I love profanity so much.